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Bostonwill's Gay / Art BLOG
June 3, 2006

Now Playing: He went on Wen.
He was improving but an infection, which is what we were all in fear of, set in on Mon. by Tues we knew there was no hope. On Wen., with just me in the room, I held him while they stopped the support. I don't think he was aware of me, but I spoke to him anyway.

Posted by bostonwill at 2:29 PM EDT
May 22, 2006
In my mother's garden
I am thinking of Alice Walker's (The Color Purple) In My Mother's Garden. It is an essay about the way un unempowered people (poor african american women) created things of beauty, like gardens and quilts, out of a need to empower themselves and leave a lasting memory.

My mother's garden was her children. She tended us diligently. She may have pigeon-holed us a bit early and somewhat stereotypically, but in her defence, there were so damn many of us. I, of course, was the "artiste" from very, very early on.

My good friend of many, many years lies dying unable to move or talk, and I sit with him. A person shouldn't die alone. But as I sit, I think... What is the meaning of this life? What is the meaning of my life? Will I end a collection of stuff that will be fought over and pilfered? Will people who love me know me well enough to know what I would want in-extremis? When I am dead, and the ones who know me are dead, what will the meaning of my life be?

Is that why I paint? Is all this scribbling just more stuff that will be fought over, pilfered away, but, have some value that will last longer than the memory of me?


Posted by bostonwill at 8:50 AM EDT
Updated: May 22, 2006 8:53 AM EDT
May 20, 2006

Sea Fever
by John Masefield


I must go down to the seas again,
to the lonely sea and the sky,
And all I ask is a tall ship
and a star to steer her by,
And the wheel's kick and the wind's song
and the white sail's shaking,
And a grey mist on the sea's face
and a grey dawn breaking.

I must go down to the seas again,
for the call of the running tide
Is a wild call and a clear call
that may not be denied;
And all I ask is a windy day
with the white clouds flying,
And the flung spray and the blown spume,
and the sea-gulls crying.

I must go down to the seas again
to the vagrant gypsy life,
To the gull's way and the whale's way
where the wind's like a whetted knife;
And all I ask is a merry yarn
from a laughing fellow rover,
And quiet sleep and a sweet dream
when the long trick's over.

These words (best know from having been quoted on StarTrek) are so profound to me. And am I the only one that sees obcession and complusion in them?

Posted by bostonwill at 11:34 AM EDT
Updated: May 20, 2006 11:36 AM EDT
May 8, 2006
Swimming / Floating
I keep getting up to do something, but then I can't remember what. I can't get an Annie Lennox song out of my head and I still want to cry at the most inappropriate times. Going from lover to friend is hard, and it's no good thinking you can skip any of the pain.

Posted by bostonwill at 11:25 AM EDT
May 5, 2006
Selling my soul
I managed to dump some of the pre-painting figures at cost, but the three I put on ebay for a profit didn't go. I marked them down.

The Ex is driving me crazy (well, actually TWO Ex's). I have become one of those guys that think two months means relationship, god help me!

Party in Hull "The Hull Word" a bit boring this time.

Want to loosen up my painting style, but how? Went to a show of some guy that paints "super-realism" canvases of the city of Boston, or maybe it was Rome, who knows. Who cares. Take a picture, it lasts longer.

I did get mesmerized by another work, by a different artist, that I wanted to snatch from the wall and run away with. It was a simple winter bridge scene (yawn) but over all the snow he had painted a flat ice-blue. I looked at his other work and the colors that seemed LOVELY from a distance were actually jarring close up. Hot pink in the fall foliage!

LOOK AT ME! DAMNIT!

Posted by bostonwill at 12:19 PM EDT
Updated: May 8, 2006 11:22 AM EDT
April 3, 2006
A walk in the sun. A kiss on the hand...
What a weekend! Socializing Friday at the Red Parrot in Hull, junk shopping with Marty on Sat, spending the night doing chores (so much better when boring chores are paired with an unboring cutey) and Sun walking a dog on a beautiful spring day.

Posted by bostonwill at 8:40 PM EDT
Updated: April 3, 2006 9:04 PM EDT
April 1, 2006
Party in Hull!
The world, full circle. If gay historians can be believed, gay social life can be traced to "house parties" and then to "private clubs". Well, with the apparent demise of GAY bars (probably due to the ease of internet hook-ups coupled with the destruction of the bar-community self-identity) WWW denizens are once again looking for social company and not just flesh caressing. Since we ALL have that "not into the bar scene" tag on our manhunt profiles what is a community to do? Enter Izzy and her idea: not a radical new one, a tried and true one. Rent out a room in a local restaurant and fill it with friends and strangers (me being one of the stranger ones...)who find out about the event online. Enter: Sexy David and the OMNIBUS EDGE NEW ENGLAND SITE to spread the word. Dozens showed up and I was hoarse from laughing and chatting with every man I saw (cause that's JUST ME.)

Posted by bostonwill at 12:01 AM EST
Updated: April 3, 2006 8:18 PM EDT
March 27, 2006
Gay male health concerns reach beyond HIV
The Gay & Lesbian Medical Association recently released the results of a survey listing the 10 leading health care concerns men who have sex with men should discuss with their medical providers. The survey included responses from more than 500 doctors and health care practitioners affiliated with GLMA, a spokesperson there said.

The 10 items, ranked in order of importance, were: HIV/AIDS and safe sex; substance use; depression/anxiety; hepatitis immunization; sexually transmitted diseases; prostate, testicular and colon cancer; alcohol; tobacco; fitness (diet and exercise); and anal papilloma.

"We are concerned that physicians and other health care providers who do not understand the health risks in the gay community cannot provide competent care," said GLMA President Christopher E. Harris, a medical doctor.

"This is why we asked our members to help us define the health care concerns most relevant to men who have sex with men," he said. "Our purpose is to inform health providers and allow patients to be proactive in their relationship by knowing what questions to ask."

Ron Tierney, a spokesperson for the GLMA, said association leaders are not suggesting that these 10 health care concerns are the only ones that apply to men who have sex with men.

"These are things that should be taken into consideration, in addition to other factors," he said.

FOR MORE INFO:
Gay & Lesbian Medical Association
459 Fulton St., Suite 107
San Francisco, CA 94102
415-255-4547
www.glma.org

Harris said the provider and the patient should be aware of these concerns "and they should be addressed non-judgmentally as part of a patient's regular health care program."

Vincent B. Silenzio, a medical doctor and co-editor of the Journal of the Gay & Lesbian Medical Association, suggested that gay men discuss these 10 issues with their medical providers:

1. HIV/AIDS, safe sex: The effectiveness of safe sex in reducing the rate of HIV infection is one of the gay community's great success stories, Silenzio said. But the last few years have seen the return of unsafe sex practices. All health care professionals should be aware of how to counsel and support maintenance of safe-sex practices.

2. Substance use: Gay men use substances at a higher rate than the general population, and not just in larger cities, Silenzio said. These substances include amyl nitrate, or poppers, marijuana, Ecstasy, and amphetamines.

3. Depression/anxiety: These conditions appear to affect gay men at a higher rate than in the general population, GLMA officials said. The likelihood of depression or anxiety may be greater, and the problem may be more severe, for those men who remain in the closet or who do not have adequate social supports. Adolescents and young adults may be at particularly high risk of suicide because of these concerns.

4. Hepatitis immunization: Men who have sex with men are at an increased risk of sexually transmitted infection with the viruses that cause hepatitis, a liver condition. Immunizations are available to prevent two of the three most serious viruses. Universal immunization for hepatitis A virus and hepatitis B virus is recommended for all men who have sex with men. Safe sex is effective in reducing the risk of viral hepatitis, and is currently the only means of prevention for the more serious hepatitis C virus.

5. Sexually transmitted diseases: STDs occur in sexually active gay men at a high rate, Silenzio said. These STDs include syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia, and public lice, as well as others for which no cure is available (including HIV, hepatitis, human papilloma virus).

6. Prostate, testicular, colon cancer: Gay men may be at risk for death by prostate, testicular or colon cancer. All gay men should undergo screenings routinely as recommended for the general population. Access to screening services may be limited by the unavailability of culturally sensitive care.

7. Alcohol: More recent studies have improved our understanding of alcohol use by gays, but it is still thought that gay men have higher rates of alcohol dependence and abuse than straight men. Alcohol-related illnesses can occur with low levels of consumption.

8. Tobacco: Recent studies suggest gay men use tobacco at much higher rates than straight men, reaching nearly 50 percent in several studies. Tobacco-related health problems include lung disease and lung cancer, heart disease, high blood pressure, and other problems.

9. Fitness, diet, exercise: Problems with body image are more common among gay men than their straight counterparts, and gay men are much more likely to experience an eating disorder such as bulimia or anorexia nervosa. The use of substances such as anabolic steroids and certain supplements can adversely affect health. At the opposite end of this spectrum, overweight and obesity are problems that also affect a large subset of gays, leading to health problems that include diabetes, high blood pressure, and heart disease.

10. Anal papilloma: Human papilloma virus, which causes anal and genital warts, may play a role in the increased rates of anal cancers in gay men. Some health professionals now recommend routine screening with anal Pap smears, similar to the test done for women to detect early cancers. Safe sex should be emphasized. Treatments for HPV do exist, but recurrence of the warts is very common, and the rate at which the infection can be spread between partners is very high.

Washington Blade - August 16, 2002
Rhonda Smith


The links are mine, the list is good for everyone actually...


Posted by bostonwill at 3:43 PM EST
Updated: March 27, 2006 4:03 PM EST
March 23, 2006
Mr. Right?
How does a person now when the guy is THE GUY? How does a person with EXPERIENCE know? How does a person with a PAST know? Well, it's been eight years and I think this one is.... different. Why don't we start there.

Posted by bostonwill at 12:01 AM EST
March 14, 2006
Brokeback Mountain: Quit You Scene
The key scene, I think we can all agree, is the I wish I could quit you scene. Which of the following thoughts best describe the full meaning of the movie to you?

Never enough time.


A passionate lust which eased into a true love that would have blossomed into a mature committed relationship; if only there were enough time. Enough time for Ennis and Jack to discard their closeted pasts and enough time for our culture not to persecute them - to just let them be.


All them things that I don't know.


This isn't a movie about gay love as much as it is about male love. Ennis' inability to commit to Jack, and Jack's unwillingness to live "happily ever after" on only what Ennis is willing to give him, is a simple love story. The violence of Ennis' jealously is underscored by both character's recognition that what they are feeling, no matter how ill-equipped they are to handle it, is true deep love.


I wish I knew how to quit you.


This whole movie is about Jack's realization that he needs to live a more fully complete life. In particular: to come out of the closet and live a romantic life, come what may, with or with out Ennis. This scene is his cry for Ennis to come with him. To find the strength to fight for what they want, and to hell with the world around them!


Why won't you let me be.


This scene shows Ennis as a typical heroically flawed character. Unable to control the wild passions for Jack that have ruled and shaped his whole life, he still believes that if only he had never met Jack, his life would have been "normal". And, more importantly, his slow realization, too late, that Jack's love is all he ever really wanted in life.


Damn you!


A gay love story, two characters so madly in love with each other, that they are bound together forever: one heart, eternally. And even though they realize that their "forbidden passion" has destroyed their lives, they understand that they never really had a choice.


The Memory


This movie is about two men who met by chance, fell passionately in love, and tried to live the best life together that they knew how to live. In the end, it is the life and love they shared that matters.



or as I would paraphrase it...

1. It's society's fault. 2. It's the man's fault. (the OTHER GUY'S fault) 3. It's Ennis' fault. (You are Jack) 4. It's Jack's fault. (You are Ennis) 5. It's nobodies fault. 6. It just is.

Posted by bostonwill at 12:53 AM EST
Updated: March 14, 2006 2:24 PM EST

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